my cursor is blinking steadily at me as i stare, daunted, at the blank white page before me.
what to write?
a million thoughts swirling around in my head but i can't seem to single out just one to focus on.
i've always had trouble figuring out how to start writing. but once i begin, the words usually flow freely, sometimes unconsciously but always exactly what i needed to say. getting the crazy swirling mess out of my head and onto paper has always made problems seem smaller, perplexities seem less impossible, confusing things seem suddenly a lot more simple.
lately my mom has been encouraging me to start blogging again. i kept putting it off since i was busy planning a wedding for 8 months, but now that the big day is behind me i have felt an urge to blog, at least a little bit, again.
i am an overachiever. so i typically put a lot of pressure on myself to do everything perfectly, every time. so because of that, as much as i wanted to start blogging again, i also felt the pressure of writing stuff that people would like, so that they would like me. i felt like i should update the blog on a very regular basis, because that of course would make me a successful blogger.
until today, when i realized that if i was going to allow myself to be stressed by pressuring myself to be a perfect blogger (or my definition of a perfect blogger), then blogging wasn't going to be something i would enjoy doing. so i made a deal with myself. i am only going to blog when i WANT to. when i FEEL like blogging. and i'm going to write about whatever i want to or feel like talking about.
stay tuned.
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